Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Dogs, Distance and Despair






Cwn Annwn, the White Dog of the Underworld, stands guard over the gates to the afterlife and hunts the lands for souls in need of guidance, or so the rumor goes. One of the Celtic Animals collection, available on many gift and collectible items.

-=-

So there we were, marching along, down life's strange highway
Mud pack and gravel beneath scarred boot and twisted heel.
Nobody said it would be easy, and they were certainly right.
Biddlesby, complainer on behalf of us all, complained vociferously
At every step along the way - his boots hurt his feet - His feet hurt his legs -
His legs ached - The food was cold - There wasn't enough food on his plate -
Someone at the back shouted forward, "Stuff a sock in it!"
"My socks are wet!" Biddlesby grumbled back,
and on we went, hour in hour out, with Biddlesby chanting out our plight.

"Where are we going?" a young scruffy-haired youth to my left wanted to know.
His companion just shrugged; he had no more clue than the rest of us,
But in rhythm we marched, lockstep lockstep lockstep
Until the sheer cadence drove some mad.
Left right left right yer-left yer-right and full of spite,
and on we went, day in day out, with Biddlesby chanting out our plight.

"What are we doing?" one young lad moaned, as the man behind him pushed him forward.
We turned our collective heads and stared at him in disbelief.
"This is what we do!" a grizzled man near the front barked back.
This is what we do.
We march on, up down uphill downhill, left right left right yer-left yer-right and full of spite
and on we went, year in year out, with Biddlesby chanting out our plight.

A boy joined us one winter, ragtag confused, hardly dressed for the task.
"Who are you people and what are you doing!?" the poor boy whined as on we marched.
We formed ranks around him as we marched along and took a bit of time to get him prepared
Still on we marched, day night dayin dayout uphill downhill, left right yer-left yer-right and full of spite
and on we went, life in life out, with Biddlesby chanting out our plight.

We paused.
All were confused.
The place was gone or was it ever there?
We stopped.
Biddlesby fretted at the top of his lungs
"Aren't we EVER gonna get DONE!? I was supposed to RETIRE at age 62!"

Then back we turned and back we marched
Life death lifetimes deathtimes day night up down uphill downhill left right yer-left yer-right and full of spite
and on we went, life in life out, with Biddlesby chanting out our plight.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Celebrate, Cats and Captives







Traditional and contemporary Celtic crosses mingle in this collection of ovals and circles on gifts for all seasons. We have colors for every decor and theme, and more are added in weekly.

-=-

My cat sings. I swear it.

This evening, as I was in here in the office working on a few little designs for the upcoming weekend's posting, I heard a soft whirring sound from the other room. Not purring, not meowing in the traditional sense. Whirring. I stood up to investigate. When I rounded the corner to where I could see into the living room, I spotted Chatterbox perched up on the dining room table, staring into a shadowy recess.

A rather large miller moth had escaped to the darkness, and Chatterbox was singing up at it as if to entice it from the safety of its perch. The moth danced outward a few times, circling far overhead. Chatterbox watched with the wary eyes of a trained hunter following its prey through the tangles of the jungles, then leaped three feet into the air, swatting at the elusive beast. It escaped, and both resumed their positions of wary observation.

I watched from the doorway, doing my best not to startle either hunter nor prey. From this vantage point, I could see the moth clearly and had a pretty fair view of Chatterbox's back. The whirring commenced yet again. Definitely the cat. She whirred; the moth moved slightly. She stopped and the moth stopped. Remarkable and impressive.

I backed away quietly and returned to my office, ears tuned for the periodic whirring. After about ten minutes I was rewarded with a loud crash and thud as something from the table bit the dust. Chatterbox raced in at just under the speed of light, dashing from the living room, through the office and into 'her' room at the back of the house.

I found no signs of the moth, though careful examination of the dining room table did reveal a rather disturbing evidence of wing dust.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Beliefs, Balance and Bathroom Scales







Give this powerful affirmation to someone special, as a firm yet gentle encouraging statement. Believe in yourself and all shall come to you. Believe in yourself and your ability is endless. Soft woodgrain effect with surrounding engravings.

-=-

Balance and bathroom scales. Sounds like they would go hand in hand, doesn't it? Perhaps with a little helping hand rested on the laundry room counter to keep steady while perching atop the digital telltale heart, minstrel of woe, glaring up from the floor and whispering in accusatory tones.

The scales scry deep within the conscience, keeping silent tallies of muffin misdeeds and privately consumed pizza. The midnight handful of caramel popcorn is reflected from ground level with the quiet smirk that only an electronic device can muster. Chicken nuggets for lunch, you say? Hah! it scoffs. We'll not talk about the filched fork full of lemon-lime cheesecake purloined from your lunch companion's plate while she was in the powder room -- or will we? The scale tells all.

Not only does it tell all, I swear it broadcasts it from the rooftops. Nay, the very Internet itself, as if it has a hidden TCP/IP connection lurking beneath its home decor-friendly beige and wood grain plastic cover and is at this very moment sending my exact weight and BMI to e-diets.com. Fiendish beast.

To make matters worse, it is infuriatingly accurate and without the slightest bit of tact. It doesn't think to itself, 'Oh, she's had a bad day, so I'll soft-pedal the news just a bit.' It never ponders that that celebratory chocolate chip cupcake that I accepted at an afternoon party was only taken to soothe the feelings of the small child who offered it to me, nor does it adjust its feedback accordingly.

I suppose the upside of things is that it doesn't gloat. Much.

The Syndicate Strikes!






I think I have this syndication thing figured out, so I'm adding it with this post. Let me know if this works, someone!

Affirmations, Aspirations and Astringents








Affirmations designed to bring strength to the soul and a firm nod to the ability to do the impossible. Keep your Balance (shown here), Believe in Yourself, Celebrate your Difference, Trust your Instincts - each on a variety of home decor items and gifts, additions to your collection of keepsakes. These are fine presents to have on hand for just the right moment when a statement is needed for a friend: Believe in Yourself.

-=-

A few months ago, a friend of mine declared that he was chucking everything for a few years to write the Great American Novel. I wished him well, but what do you think? Do we have enough Great American Novels, or has that measure gone with the turn of the century or with the death of James Michener? Do you harken back to the Great American Novels we all had to read in high school, then shudder at the thought of someone adding to those musty stacks?

While I find it commendable that someone would take on this task as a personal dream, and get paid for it (grants!), I admit to a modicum of envy. Why can't I get paid to take off work for three years and READ the Great American Novel?

I've been an avid reader since I was a kid. It was not unusual for me to haul home as many library books as I could carry the distance from the library to our house, read them as fast as possible, then return for more within a few days. It served to broaden my education and viewpoint of the world, the outer worlds and inner dreams, trials of mankind. I seem to recall one librarian being seriously concerned about my eclectic selections and visit frequency. If there were no books left between trips, I would reread the ones I had just read. Card carrying readaholic, and there is no 12-step program or cure.

I've tried my hand at writing, even produced a handful of outlines for books that I would love to read if they were written. Invariably I get sidetracked into the minutiae and nothing more comes of it. Poetry is something I can write all day long, and have.

But, truth be told, my writing muse longs to dwell in the long shadows of such giants as Erma Bombeck, Peg Bracken, Andy Rooney, Bennett Cerf, Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker, Mary Roach, Dave Barry. Quick of wit, deft of phrase, sharp of tongue, inept of screwdriver. They revel in the peril of the everyday life. These monumental minds turn an overflowing sewage tank into a rollicking tales, with heroes and villains and missing goldfish. They take the daily misadventures of life and make them into sweet-and-sour treats. I wish I could turn a phrase with such an adept wit. That's what I want to do when I grow up! Heck with the Great American Novel. I'll settle for Great American Hilarity.

I wonder if I should tell my friend that, if he wishes to write the Great American Novel, he'd best pack his bags and move from the UK to the US... he is British, after all.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Alphabets, Epiphanies and Cutting Boards






Celtic alphabets appear to be engraved in stone of several kinds, from granite (shown here) to marbles of various colors. I've used one of my favorite fonts of all time, Patrick, which to me is the most evocative of Celtic tradition and tones. Available on pillows, prints, tiles, boxes and mugs - but if you want it on something else, all you need to do is say the word.

-=-

Once in awhile, I'll have a flash of inspiration that is usually accompanied by that special 'DOH' feeling, as in 'why didn't I think of this years ago!' One of those hit me this morning while I was struggling to wrap my arthritic hands around the lid of a pickle jar. Mind you, this flash had absolutely nothing with opening difficult jars - if I have a tough time with one, I take the logical route and toss it to my dearly beloved, who can open the toughest jar with a flick of his wrist. If he's not around, I take the next logical step and thwap the jar on the floor until the lid loosens or the jar breaks.

No. This was an entirely separate epiphany, and it focused on getting the last holdout coffee grounds out of these newfangled cans with the dopey rims. Twist and turn, stand it on edge, shake it like mad, and at least an eighth of a cup (1/6th of a pot of coffee!) will remain inside. I am the consummate pack rat, and I just know that someday I will need 3517 coffee cans, so I always hesitate to wreck the top by hacksawing it off just to get that last bit of grounds out. Buying whole bean is too logical. So that's out.

A few days ago, I received an order from a catalog company, including four flexible cutting boards. One for meat, one for fish, one for onion, one for something else. I fished them out of the precious storage spot where they'd landed on arrival and been promptly ignored, tore open the package and bent one experimentally. Perfect. I advanced warily on the recalcitrant coffee can, quiet as I could so as not to alert it into further defense mechanisms. Curled up the yellow board into a coffee can opening size tube, and attacked, sticking the curled board down its metallic throat and tapping it gently into place. Upended the whole affair, and out came all the stuck coffee grounds!

Needless to say, the yellow board is now known as the 'one for coffee' and occupies an honored spot in my coffee corner, right next to the stack of empty (!) coffee cans that I know I will need someday.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Pioghaid and Feng Shui






Celtic animals are gathered and painted with brilliant colors, reflecting traditional Celtic symbols and updating into a more contemporary presentation. Pioghaid the Magpie (shown here) is joined by Coileach the Peacock, Cwn Annwyn the Dog of the Underworld, Caoit the Cat, Corr the Crane, Eas-Ganu the Eel, Payshtha the Dragon, and Beli the Eagle upon prints, pillows, mugs, tiles and boxes, and other gift items.

-=-

Several years ago, I bought a curly bamboo plant. Actually it was a stick, green and curved back on itself in two places. It had no leaves, no roots, no particular signs of life, except that it was green. Along with this came Feng Shui instructions which read, roughly, put the uncurly end in water and keep both ends very carefully out of direct sunlight. So I did. For about two years, I kept the uncurly end submersed in fresh water in a sturdy wine carafe on top of the entertainment center, which is about as far from direct sunlight as it could be placed. About two months after it arrived, it sprouted a leaf. A tiny teeny little green leaf. We were thrilled, and figured our Feng Shui operation was well on its way. Like good followers of instruction leaflets, we positioned it appropriately and added water every few days, so that its little feet would never dry out. It spouted thin tendrils of roots which curled up inside the carafe bottom. All was good.

Several months later, it sprouted a second leaf. A few months after that, it sprouted a third. We figured this was the way of Zen life. Slow journey and all. We kept it watered, kept it out of direct sunlight, kept its feet wet, etc etc etc.

I'm no Feng Shui guru, and I'm just as likely to align a stack of outdated People magazines to the east-west as north-south, or northeast-southwest, with no regard whatsoever to the balance of the universe, and my luck and riches are as equally unlikely to change as a result. Feng Shui may work quite well for some folks who are better attuned to the balance of the universe. Personally, even though I try to be sensitive to the balance of the universe, usually our clutter bunker is more attuned to Flung Shui (tentative credit given to a cartoon on my fridge door).

We have no mirrors in the bedroom (apparently a Feng Shui no-no). I wish I could claim this was a purposeful act to keep evil spirits from sliding under the bathroom door. But frankly it's only because the one mirror we did have in the bedroom fell out of its moorings one night and hit the floor, scaring the cat. Our luck and riches did not change as a result, but the cat developed a great fear of falling plates of reflective glass. We did the math: Seven years of bad luck in the face of eight remaining lives, and figured that we wouldn't risk 56 years of terror for the poor thing, and never replaced the bedroom mirror.

The curly bamboo is supposed to bring great luck and riches. Well, that may very well be the case, but from its perch up on top of the entertainment center, I think it was more occupied with listening to Law & Order episodes and waving its few tiny leaves to the tunes of the theme of Gilmore Girls. In any event, not much changed until the day the cat discovered its location.

Even though she'd seen this thing up on top of the entertainment center every day for several years, all of a sudden she felt some catly urge to reach it and chew on its tiny few leaves. She's a clever cat, but the entertainment center stands about five feet high, is covered with stacks of video tapes, cassette tape boxes, miniature cars courtesy of Readers Digest Select Editions, owls holding incense, owls holding keychains, owls holding nothing, and a lava lamp (don't ask). There is just no room for a cat unless something sacrifices its position to four paws and a zooming tail. The owl holding the incense nobly gave up and bit the dust first. Moments later, keychain owl chose to join incense owl in a heroic demise. That was about the time I peeked around the corner from the office to see Chatterbox standing up on the top of a side table and batting things out of her way in order to reach the bamboo.

How'd I know she was aiming at the bamboo? It was cowering from her. Tiny wee leaves atremble, this poor plant was leaning backwards in a futile attempt to avoid impending doom! Well, ok, maybe not. But it was tilted back at an angle that would indicate it was about to follow keychain owl and incense owl into plunging death. I grabbed it from the top of the entertainment center and bad-kittied Chatterbox down from her attack point. After I retrieved the two owls and restored them to their rightful spots, as outlined by the bare spaces in the dust, I grabbed Chatterbox and gently deposited her out of range.

Without thinking about the 'keep out of direct sunlight' edict in the instruction pamphlet, I carried the bamboo to the kitchen and set it in the one place I was relatively sure Chatterbox would not attempt to attack it: near a big threatening white Kitchen Aid mixer. It just so happens that the mixer is right next to the window with its lovely southern exposure and view of the behind-us neighbors and their yard.

About two days later, I noticed that the few tiny leaves had grown to larger leaves, and were being joined by two more small leaves. Within a few more days, the leaf count was up to eight and all were turning beautifully into the sunlight. Within another week, those leaves were doing so wonderfully that even more had started to show up, as did a check for $5000 which I had thought I would never see.

Based on this, I now believe that curly bamboo likes sunlight, the directer the better, and may even contribute to luck and riches. In fact, I get the sneaking suspicion that if I had just moved it there a few years ago, that check might have arrived when it was expected, instead of being nearly three years late...

Chatterbox has since lost interest in plant life for the time being, now that the bamboo is being guarded by the big evil loud threatening Kitchen Aid mixer (which is only evil and loud when it is turned on to make bread, a winter-season event), and has taken up the fine art of de-crochet, best defined as the art of persistently unraveling and eating a handmade green afghan. She's still working on the fringe on one side, but has managed to consume most of that and is now eyeing the other side's loose threads.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Autumn Leaves






The most subtle memories of summer linger in the outlines of autumn leaves, their colors just a simple whisper. These leaves will linger long after the season passes, and there's no need to rake them up or set the kids to shoveling them out from under the hedge.

-=-

A friend of mine likens autumn to a state of incredible transition. Harvests are tended, sometimes for the last time until a field goes fallow. Homesteads are secured, storm windows are hung. Rain gutters are tested for leaks, to stand ready for the winter. With a last sigh, we stow swimsuits and light linen outfits and check our closets for wool and heavy flannel. It is a transitional state of the year, and some find it a comfort. Some find it a pain in the tush.

This same friend hates cold weather. She would like nothing more than to hibernate from Labor Day until Memorial weekend, and would if she could. But since she cannot (they'd probably miss her at work), she busies herself with preparations, as if the shortening of the days spells impending doom. She hauls out quilts and fluffs them as if her life depends on it. She frets that her furnace will fail. She obsesses over fall outfits. She panics if she doesn't have appropriate matching purses to go with this season's warm boots. Her coats will be the latest and greatest available for the utmost warmth possible, the newest materials on the market.

Now, this would make perfect sense if we happened to live in a place like Fairbanks, Alaska or even upstate New York, where the change of seasons is marked with falling leaves, falling snow, icy sidewalks and slush up to our ankles. But she lives in the desert. (So do I - about three blocks away.) She's lived here about 18 years; I've been here about 20. We both know what the desert winter will be like, but some of us panic more than others.

It might have gotten down to 60 degrees Fahrenheit last night. Dreadfully miserable winter is upon us.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Calendars and Long-Ago Children





The Spirit of Shells Calendar for 2006 is now available (shown here), along with the Celtic County, Celtic Animals (both individually and as a collection), and Crosses and Knots. Keeping track of important dates is easy when you have 12 months of your favorite interest to look at. Our high-quality calendar has oversized date boxes providing plenty of room to write in important events. Each features full bleed dynamic color on 100 lb text weight high gloss paper. We're pleased, and are sure you will be as well.

-=-

While I was searching for ideas on the designs for the calendar, I happened to stumble across a collection of clip art I had purchased many years ago. Somehow it had gotten shoved to one side and fallen down between the back of two shelves, where it seems to have hibernated for about a dozen years. I blew off a few years' worth of dust and thumbed through the pages, rekindling old memories as bookmarks fell loose during my travel.

One page in particular caught my eye and brought back a racing tidal wave of memories. The bookmark which I'd pushed in place had St 94 scribbled on its top. I can't remember what that stood for, but I do remember what why I gravitated toward one particular design.

The artwork is that of a small child, looking down with a soft expression on her face. There is just enough of a quirk to the smile to hint of mischief or merriment, but not enough to mistake the look for joy. Her long hair curls over thin shoulders, and she has the most amazing eyelashes. And now I recall why I did not use the design at the time. Cherubic as this tiny creature seemed to be, she bears the most uncanny resemblance to my youngest stepdaughter at about the age of 12.

I could not bring myself to use the spittin' image of my stepdaughter's face in an environment geared toward bringing attention to the plight of missing children. (The project itself went on to gain wide national attention.)

I chose instead a pair of reaching hands, sketched and anonymous, but poignant in their meaning and presentation. But I recall that, at the time, I kept returning to that particular tiny bit of artwork and staring, wondering where my stepdaughter has gone, so many years ago.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Wee Mousie, Wee Mousie










Finally finally finally, things are getting back on track. The Wee Mousie series (Teapot Mouse shown above) is added to Celtic Elegance. Several other Fall season designs are added this week as well, and our contributions toward the disaster recovery continue to grow as well.

-=-

in other news

A tribute to The Way Things Were and Still Should Be: Late in 1978, my husband and I bought a microwave oven. It was huge, came in a box that could house half of Van Nuys, weighed as much as a small Chevy, and came with a instruction manual that was worthy of most supercomputers of the day. We plugged it in, and it worked. It was an incredible device for us at the time, and we created a shrine for it above and to one side of the stove. Neither of us was particular sure what to do with it, as we were both quite comfortable with cooktop and oven food preparation and eating. (Well, not quite true. He cooked, not I - I didn't really learn how to cook for fewer than 11 people until I was well into my 40s.) Eventually we figured it out, and eventually the incredible device became part of our daily routine. As nuke fare got up to speed, the device eventually replaced nearly all cooking on stove, although the oven still remained in use.

Best I can guess, this microwave has been run at least twice a day every day for 27 years, except the very brief times we've been on vacation. It has been spattered, splattered, kicked once, dropped once (onto a soft surface). It has been tinkered with inadvertently. The plug-in thermometer vanished in 1984, thanks to an exploratory grandchild. Its inner surfaces have been subjected to cleaning products both mild and abrasive, despite the cautionary tone of the voluminous manual.

Last night it made a loud growling noise.

My husband and I looked at each other in surprise. It has never made any noise before, except the monotonic whirring that it always makes when the heavy glass turntable is spinning. Well, it did once, when someone whose name shall be left out to protect his privacy, when that someone chose to microwave a bowl of clay "just to see what would happen". It uttered a howl and spat forth a shower of sparks worthy of a blacksmith's anvil in protest of this mistreatment. The clay coated the innards of the cavity, and that someone got to clean it up because his wife (me) refused to do so.

But last night it made a loud growling noise. We silently prepared our requiems to the Ancient Microwave. We glanced at the stack of Consumer Reports, trying to remember which issue had the comparative study and Best Buy flags on microwaves. We mentally counted our nickels and dimes, resigned to replacing the venerable beast.

Then it stopped growling and went back to work, finished cooking the nukeable dinner, and went back to whatever microwave ovens do when they're not microwaving. It worked just fine this morning for breakfast and again just fine for lunch. No growling.

Perhaps it just wanted to remind us that it was there, serving us in relative silence, several times a day for 27 years.