Friday, August 12, 2005

Well-Meaning Friends and Other Household Pests

A dear friend who shall remain utterly nameless called me up in a blithering panic the other day. Word travels fast through our disconnected circle of acquaintances and sometimes words get distorted by line noise - rather like the childhood game of telephone.

"Oh my GOD! Casey!!" She exclaimed in a deluge of frightened concern. "Are you oKAY? Are you all RIGHT? Are you out of the HOSPITAL?? Are you going to.. " she paused here to take a breath, "LIVE?"

I answered affirmative to all of the above and assured her that I had not technically been IN the hospital except as the visit to the emergency room placed me under the same roof, so technically I supposed I was...

She started sobbing hysterically. Hm. Was she hoping to have inherited my priceless collection of antique Corelle dinnerware or something?

Well, turns out that the word on the vine was that I was near death and perhaps already dead. After ALL, she related to me between sobs, DVT kills 2,000,000 people a MONTH!! I calmed her as best I could, pointed out that the figure was more like 200,000 a year, which is bad enough without inflating to proportions which would rival the Black Plague of my youth. I hope she heard me. She raced out of the conversation, intent on calling a few more folks to let them know that I was indeed among the living and actually SPEAKING. (Yes, she tends to talk in capital letters like that).

-=-

EGBOK - spread the word - and let's try not to inflate things and incite panic whilst we do so.

I've no idea what they plan to do except whatever the blood thinner medications do - warfarin, which sounds more like it should be reserved for combat duty.

Guess we'll all find out.

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